At long last, someone has finally found enough time to be bored and angry enough to compare Spam, the meat-like product, to spam, the unwanted internet trash that is slowly choking the internet to a crawl. So, without further ado, here it is.
Note: The meat-like product will be spelled out like this: Spam
The unwanted internet trash will be spelled in all lower case: spam
I think I'll make up little symbols or something later on.
Spam is NOT a naturally occuring product, and then again, neither is spam.
Most people do not like Spam. Most people do not like spam either.
Spam clogs your arteries, causing an early death. In comparison, spam clogs the data circuits that make up the internet, but in all actuality, it clogs up news and mail servers, possibly causing early deaths for expensive hard drive RAIDs.
Spam comes in a can, while spam should be canned.
Spam makes me sick, as does spam.
Spam should be cooked, where-as spam is usually cooked-up by a scammer.
Spam is generally considered a tasteless product, while spam is also rather tasteless.
You shouldn't send Spam through the mail, so why should you send spam via email or usenet? Basically, Spam and spam do not transport very well.
Spam is some sort of meat by-product, spam is a meat-head's by-product.
Spam is considered food, spam is considered crap. Of course, all food eventually becomes crap anyways.
You can avoid Spam by not buying it, where-as some idiot IMPOSES spam upon your email box.
I've notice that on a large scale, people who really like Spam aren't terribly bright. Yes, there may be exceptions, but I have yet to see one. On the other hand, spam is sent out by people who aren't really smart, and I have yet to see an exception to that.
Eating too much Spam can result in a "gut-bomb". Receiving too much spam can result in the recipient sending an email-bomb in retaliation.
Spam comes with nutrition information on the side, as required by the FDA. All of that unwanted spam is generally bad for you anyways and it doesn't come with a warning label.
You can get a low-fat version of Spam, but spam is all fat and needlessly bulks up your email box.
When you eat Spam, it makes you crap. When you get spam, you get crap.
Spam is pink-ish in color, while spam's color is dependent on display settings and your emailer.
If you mention you don't like Spam, people tend to respect that or at least stop forcing it on you. If you publically state you HATE spam, spammers keep spamming you. Clearly spammers lack manners, while Spam-likers tend to have manners and respect and decency, traits lacked by spammers.
If someone one sends you a lot of Spam in the mail and it overflows your mailbox, you can still get all your mail, through arrangements with the Post Office. If on the other hand some idiots send you too much spam and it overflows your email account, mail you want is rejected or bounced and you may never get it.
At least Spam has a return address while spam is usually sent by someone trying to hide their identity and address so they can continue to scam and spam.
I've seen commercials for Spam, but spam is an unwanted commercial that unfortunately must be dealt with.
Spam is a legitimate product, but spam is usually a scam or some illegal activity.
If you feed Spam to a dog, it makes the dog crap. A dog won't even eat spam, including those same dogs who will eat cat turds. If a dog won't eat it, that should tell you how nasty it is.
If you are one of the dilweeds who sent me unsolicited email or are someone thinking about it, drop dead.
Also, if you've got a complaint about my anti-spam feelings or want to scold me for being justifiably sick of spam, I have the following words of wisdom for you: